Flash Backs

Some times I get struck by the past .. My past .. My childhood .. how was I before and what made me what I am .. why I can't decide If I like vanilla Ice or strawberry, what makes me so wanting to go every where .. what prevented me of becoming a real bad ass .. scaring the bastards off and keeping them from annoying me .. how I became so fund of being alone ..

OH .. there is so much events in my past years especially the first 11 of them .. considering that I started being conscious from about 5 or 6, that leaves the intermediate 5 years ..

Some times I want to blame my father for some stuff he did, some thing he said, some things he didn't say and some things he didn't do

I may be outgoing and open now but what passed .. what I stepped over was so dark - to me - that I erased it intentionally .. I'm not having psychological problems as I know, and I'm okay now .. so I want it to just disappear .. no more flash backs , no more weeping .. no more sad faces alone in my room .. but I guess it's not erasable ..

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" to perfect a language , you must first think in it " This quote have been bugging me since I learned about it .. and I didn't imagine how would it feel .. just till I caught my self thinking in English ..

That when all the Fun began